.jpg)
Brazilian Hugs — Why Do Japanese People Feel Awkward?｜H&A Portuguese Language School
- atsukohoshi
- Jan 18
- 4 min read
Oi gente!!!! Tudo bem?
My name is Atsuko Hoshi Natalia.
I am a Board Member of the Japan–Brazil Central Association, a Brazilian dentist, and the owner and instructor of H&A Consulting and its Portuguese language school.
I am a second-generation Japanese Brazilian, born and raised in Santos, Brazil, and I currently live in Tokyo Japan.
The other day, some Brazilian friends of someone I know visited Japan for the first time, and I was asked to show them around Tokyo. Despite it being our first meeting, they greeted me with a hug almost immediately. That said, it was a restrained, somewhat cautious hug—one that still kept a certain sense of distance. In Brazil, hugging is a very natural form of greeting, but I could sense the carefulness that comes with meeting someone for the first time.
However, when it came time to say goodbye, the hug became something entirely different. “It was great to meet you,” “Thank you for everything,” “I really had a wonderful time”—it was a warm hug filled with all of these emotions at once.
On another occasion, while I was guiding a family, their 22-year-old son hugged his mother right there in the store. The reason? She had bought him an iPhone as a graduation gift for finishing university.
Hugging your mother in a shop—and in front of other people, no less… honestly, that would be unthinkable in my own family 😅. In Japan, after all, hugging within the family isn’t really a common habit to begin with, is it? 😅
But watching that mother and son, it didn’t feel like they were doing anything “special.” Rather, it seemed as though they were simply making their feelings clear, right there in that moment.
And in that moment, a thought suddenly crossed my mind: A hug may not be so much about closing the distance, but rather about fully expressing—and bringing to completion—the feelings that arise in that moment.
■ Hugging in Brazil
In Brazil, feelings such as joy, gratitude, and even sadness are not meant to be kept inside. By expressing them through the body or through words, people can draw a clear line—“I’ve conveyed how I feel,” “That’s enough for now.”
That is why a hug in Brazil is not simply a greeting meant to bring people closer physically. It is used naturally to connect with the emotions of family and friends, to share moments of happiness, and to express feelings that words alone cannot fully convey. Brazilian hugs often involve the whole body, with emotions carried directly into the gesture, sometimes accompanied by a smile, a gentle pat on the back, or even a kiss on the cheek. Especially during reunions after a long time apart or in moments of heightened emotion, hugs naturally become longer.
This way of hugging reflects core Brazilian values: closeness between people, an openness to expressing emotions, and a deep respect for relationships. In Brazil, showing one’s feelings is not considered embarrassing; rather, it is seen as part of being sincere and genuine as a person. That is why a hug is not so much a way of reducing distance as it is a way of fully conveying the emotions that arise in that moment.
So then, how does this compare with Japan?
■ Japan: A Culture Without Hugging
In Japan, there are many situations where people instinctively put the brakes on expressing their emotions openly. Even when discussing something serious, or when feeling deep sadness, people may unconsciously put on a polite or awkward smile. Many foreigners have commented that they feel a sense of discomfort when they see Japanese people smiling slightly while being interviewed in moments that would normally call for visible grief.
However, this attitude does not come from a lack of emotion, nor from coldness. Rather, I feel it comes from being almost overly cautious about expressing emotions openly. Even when Japanese people do hug while abroad, it often feels somewhat awkward. That may be because the hug is treated merely as a form of greeting, without fully allowing the emotion behind it to surface.
For those who grow up in cultures where emotions are openly expressed, the polite smiles or the awkwardness of hugging that I mentioned earlier may feel confusing. However, for many Japanese people, holding emotions inside comes naturally—not out of indifference, but out of consideration. Refraining from showing one’s feelings is often a way to avoid disturbing the atmosphere or making others uncomfortable, and can itself be an expression of care and thoughtfulness.
■ Emotional Expression in Brazil and Japan
In Japan, there are relationships where understanding does not require clear words, long explanations, or full-bodied physical expression. Even without hugs, emotions can be quietly shared and fully processed through eye contact, silence, pauses, and the experience of being in the same space together.
In Brazil, emotions are completed by being expressed outward.
In Japan, emotions are completed by being held and gently contained.
This is not a matter of right or wrong, but simply a difference in how emotions are handled—and how they are brought to closure. Perhaps because I understand that difference, a Brazilian hug feels to me not like simple skin-to-skin contact, but like a mechanism for fully expressing what is felt in that moment, allowing one to move forward.
Brazil is a culture that uses up emotions by releasing them outward. Japan is a culture that uses up emotions within shared context and silent understanding. Without awareness of this difference, people may stand in the same space and yet never arrive at the same feeling. It was a moment that gently led me to reflect on that thought.
■ For Readers Who Would Like to Explore Brazil More Deeply
Learning a language also means learning about its culture and people.
At H&A Portuguese Language School, we offer enjoyable lessons that incorporate themes from everyday life in Brazil. At the same time, we pay close attention to the differences between Japanese and Brazilian culture, customs, and communication styles, helping students improve their skills efficiently and with confidence.
If you want to further improve your Portuguese skills, check out the short video below (57 seconds) and sign up for a free trial lesson.
Comments